I'm like, totally blogging and junk

It seems to me that "Universal Remote" is one of those nonsense terms, like "Guesstimate", and "Glam Goth". Sure, it can control your DVD, VCR, and TV all in one convenient place, but can it control the actual universe?

*Clicks a button which opens up a portal thens drives a motorcycle through it*

00100101?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for In The News...

POLICE REPORT A HOMELESS MAN WAS CAUGHT TRYING TO STEAL A LIVE FERRET BY STUFFING IT INSIDE OF HIS PANTS

Oh lordy, where to start.
His pants? Is there no end to what we will attempt to steal by smuggling them in our own trousers? We do have pockets for a reason. Admittedly, that reason is not the theft of live rodents, but it is a reason nontheless.
Could he not steal something more useful, like the money in the register? No, that man needed a ferret. But why? Perhaps he just needed a friend? I understand that sleepin' on them benches is mighty lonely, but why not just steal a puppy? At least a puppy would look cute, and not like a slinky crossed with a meerkat.
Does this newspaper have nothing better to report than homeless men theiving small, furry animals via a pair of jeans? Apparently not.

I will gladly pay you tuesday, for a hamburger today.

Man, google is taking over the world. In fact, they even are in cooperation with *coughcoughtookover* Blogger, the service that made this. Which I guess technically means they can moniter my posts. Wait, who's that banging on the door? Hello? Can I help you? Wait, what are those baseball bats for? Hey, HEY! OW! NOOOOOOOO! SAVE ME FROM THIS SEARCH ENGINE CONGLOMERATE!

I believe that all useless gadgets should be measured on a scale of 1 to 10 on how much they make you feel like James Bond. Ergo, a wrist watch that has a video com would rank 10,000,000.

Sign me up, M.

Ninjas existed? Awesome!

It's very strange when something when you enjoyed as a kid is now seen for what it really is like. In this case, spaghettio's. Now, the vomit smell just makes me want to snort a gallon of Fabuloso. What happened spaghettio's? You used to be cool man, you used to be cool.

Moral of the story: campbells cannot be trusted

There is indeed soup for you

I think that Pi is better than infinity, because you can't memorize infinity to geek-out your friends.
Then again, I despise mathematics. Wait, then why am I posting about it? Hmmm...


Oh no, it's happening agaaaaaaaaiin! 3.14159265979363....